To New Years
by CrazyTaraWitch
Summary: Sequel to The 10 Days of Christmukkah. Emma Swan has been reliving the kiss for six days. The new year is starting, and all she wants is to ring it in with Regina and Henry, but can things ever be that simple?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Here is the sequel to Christmukkah! Sorry it's so long after New Years, I had technical difficulties and then was traveling. This will be 2-3 chapters and should be finished by Saturday at the latest. Feedback is always appreciated. Enjoy!

~*~*~*~*~  
>Emma woke with a smile and stretched luxuriously. She could get used to this, waking up rested and comfortable, without the sounds of her squalling brother or the aches and pains from Regina's couch. Sort of her couch now, too, she supposed.<p>

She rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling, her smile spreading into a grin as she thought of the last week. All but one night since Christmas Eve had been spent here with Regina and Henry, sleeping in her new bed and enjoying her new home. And tonight… Her stomach fluttered at the knowledge she would be with Regina at midnight.

They hadn't kissed since the mistletoe, and yet it seemed every moment between them had been charged with the possibility of more. Each morning as Regina made breakfast, Emma slipped into the kitchen and found an excuse for some innocent touch that sent shivers through her, each evening they cleaned the dishes side by side, and more than once at night they wound up curled half on top of each other on the sofa.

It felt more comfortable than anything Emma had known before, and there were moments when that still scared the crap out of her, but what scared her the most was that it felt so damn wonderful.

She would have to go by the apartment later to retrieve the bottle of champagne she had bought in secret two days ago, in anticipation of tonight. She had a bottle of sparkling cider for Henry, and eggnog just in case. She would stop by the apartment, maybe see her parents and brother for an hour or two, and then return home.

_Home_. She grinned at the thought. Home with her kid and his mom; her family. It was fast, and she was still half certain she was going to fuck it all up, but it just felt so right she couldn't bring herself to run.

~*~*~*~*~*~  
>"Morning," Emma greeted with a grinned. Regina continued making coffee without responding until Emma approached and slipped an arm around her lower back. The older woman leaned slightly into the touch, and Emma's smile broadened as she caught the faint upward turn of brightly painted lips.<p>

"Happy New Year."

Regina rolled her eyes. "Clearly I should have bought you a calendar for Christmas. I believe you'll find it's December 31st."

"Happy New Year's Eve then." Emma grabbed the mug from Regina's hands and took a small sip.

Regina crossed her arms and turned slightly to glare at the woman behind her, causing Emma's arm to drop from where it had rested against her, the blonde immediately missing the contact. "I believe you'll find, Miss Swan, you have your own mug."

"Yeah, but yours tastes better," she countered, grin never faltering.

Regina smirked. "Only because I poison yours, dear."

~*~*~*~*~  
>"Emma!" Snow greeted her daughter happily, jumping up from the couch to sweep her into a tight embrace.<p>

Emma briefly returned the hug before pulling back. "Hey Mom. I thought I'd hang out for a while, pick up a few things."

"You're not staying?" she asked in disappointment. "Your father and I were hoping you and Henry might spend the holiday with us. So we could start the year as a family."

Emma sighed, a hint of guilt creeping in to her previously-happy mind. "We're spending the night with Regina. They have some weird movie about a woman being alone on her birthday that they watch each year… I don't really get it, but Henry wants me there. **I** want me there," she added before her mother could protest.

"Emma… I understand that you miss Henry, and of course it's important for you to spend time with him, but we've barely seen you for weeks. You broke up with Killian, you spend all your time with Regina, I just worry it's not healthy-"

"Mom," Emma cut the other woman off, voice a warning. She took a deep breath, trying to contain the anger growing inside her. "I am spending time at Regina's because I want to. Yes, I want to be part of Henry's life. I also want to be part of Regina's life. You need to respect that or back off." Snow looked taken aback, but her daughter continued. "I know we've all had our issues with Regina, but you know as well as I do she's different now. She's growing, and she is trying so damn hard to be worthy. Don't you want her to be happy?"

"Oh Emma, of course I do! I have always wanted Regina to be happy, even when we were fighting each other and now more than ever. But you are my daughter, and your happiness comes first. She just lost her soul mate sweetheart, and I don't think…" Snow paused, and Emma waited, every muscle still. "I'm worried you're going to get hurt."

After a long silent moment, the blonde visibly deflated. "You don't think she feels the way I do." It was a statement more than a question.

Snow stepped forward and brought a hand up to touch her daughter's cheek. Her soft smile faltered when Emma winced, but neither woman pulled away. "I think it's soon, and you may want things she isn't ready for. That doesn't mean she'll never feel the way you do, but if she doesn't… I don't want your heart getting broken."

"Yeah…" Emma looked away, not wanting to consider how it would feel if Regina didn't want more than what they already had. She thought back to the last week. She had been the one to initiate the kiss under the mistletoe; Regina had run. They touched often now, but Emma couldn't seem to recall a single time Regina had been the one to reach out. The gifts Regina had given her were alternately intimate and mundane, but they had all led up to offering Emma space in her home; that had to mean something, didn't it?

But what if it didn't mean to Regina what it meant to her? What if anything more between them was only her wishful thinking?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Sorry this is another short chapter. Chapter 3 will wrap up this fic and will hopefully be a little longer.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
>It wasn't long before Emma made her excuses and left the apartment. It had never felt more like her parents' and less like her own than it did as she walked out seeking escape.<p>

Emma had gathered her things on autopilot while avoiding her mother's gaze. She could feel Snow watching her, but she couldn't deal with the fears that had just sprung up inside her while under her watchful eyes.

Now Emma was driving, not sure where she was going but certain she couldn't go home-wherever that even really was.

~*~*~*~*~  
>Nearly three hours had passed before Henry found her sitting on a bench staring out at the water. She hadn't noticed how cold she was getting, or the calls she'd missed on her phone.<p>

He sat beside her without a word, nestling against her as he so rarely did these days. Still in this moment the little boy she'd never really raised. Emma wrapped her arm around him and pulled him closer.

"Hey kid, how come you're not home with your mom?"

"We were worried about you," he told her pointedly. "I called Grandma and she said you left hours ago. Mom insisted it was nothing, but she seemed sad you weren't home."

Emma's heart squeezed. She hated the thought of Regina sad, but Regina sad because she wanted her there… Emma sighed. She was in this mess in the first place from getting her hopes up. "What makes you think that, kid?"

He shrugged a shoulder noncommittally. "She keeps things to herself, but I can tell. When you're around she forgets to be sad."

"Henry… It's only been a few weeks since Robin Hood left. Your mom's going to be sad for a long time." Maybe if she said the words enough she'd be able to forget the feel of Regina's soft lips against her own, the sparkle in her eyes when she teased, the crackle of electricity between them when their hands brushed together in innocent moments. Maybe she'd be able to convince herself Regina was grieving and couldn't possibly want the life that had been filling Emma's daydreams.

"Maybe she is sad sometimes," Henry admitted reluctantly, "but with you it's different. Her eyes light up again, and she stops having to try."

Emma furrowed her brow in confusion and Henry searched for the words to explain. "Mom's always trying. Trying to be a hero, trying to be a good mom, trying to be good enough to be forgiven. With Robin she tried to be perfect and happy, like she wasn't even… her. But with you she just is. She doesn't try to be perfect, or a hero, she's just Mom. She teases and she laughs and she gets a little mad sometimes, but she's not sad with you, and she doesn't have to be anybody else."

"You really think I can make her happy kid?"

"You already do," Henry stated firmly. "But I think she'd be even happier if you were together. Just don't get all gross around me," he added hastily.

"Gross? We're not gross!"

"Yeah, but if you start kissing all the time like Grandma and Grandpa you will be."

Emma nudged him playfully. "You can't have it both ways. Grown-ups do gross things like kiss when they're together."

"Yeah, well, you and Mom can skip that part." Emma stuck out her tongue and Henry responded in kind before they broke into matching grins. Silence fell between them and after a few moments Henry whispered, "I just want us to be a family."

"Me too kid," Emma admitted quietly, placing a gentle kiss on the top of his head. "Me too."

~*~*~*~*~  
>Emma and Henry came home to the smell of baking cookies and a Regina whose smiles shone with relief at their return.<p>

Henry was beyond excited for what he called swirl cookies, and his mothers' gazes met as they chuckled at this childish enthusiasm.

These moments of Henry still acting like the little boy she first met almost three years ago were already fading, and Emma knew they would only become fewer and farther between as time went on. As Emma saw her own bittersweet happiness reflected in dark eyes, she knew whatever moments like this were left she wanted to share with Regina.

Maybe it could be that simple.

~*~*~*~*~  
>The evening was spent in quiet comfort. They sat together on the couch, Emma squished in the middle with Henry sprawled half across her lap and Regina's feet tucked under her left leg. Only someone very generous would have called it physically comfortable, but with the fuzzy blanket she'd been given on the second day of Christmukkah draped over them all and a cup of hot chocolate with cinnamon in her hands she was content.<p>

Emma could safely say that she had no better understanding of Dinner for One, or why it was a New Years tradition, after seeing it than before. Henry attempted to explain that it was about endings and loneliness before giving up when he realized it made no sense to him either.  
>"It's just a thing you do," he said finally. "Like party poppers and fireworks and kissing at midnight." Emma blushed slightly and her eyes flickered to Regina who was decidedly looking away.<p>

With the programme over, Emma and Henry won out over Regina's half-hearted objections and put on a New Years Eve special complete with mediocre pop music and outrageous costumes. The trio spent more time laughing over the absurdity than actually watching, but as the lazy evening wore on and Emma allowed her head to rest on the brunette's shoulder she knew she'd rather end a year like this than in Times Square or at any of the wild parties of her youth.

Maybe she wouldn't be having hot drunken sex with a near-stranger tonight, but she also knew she wouldn't want to run away come morning.

~*~*~*~*~  
>Just before midnight, the women headed to the kitchen to pour drinks. Emma's heart was thumping as the night drew to a close, and in her nervous state she spilled half the bottle of sparkling cider. Regina huffed and rolled her eyes but was quick to grab a spare towel from the pantry and move to help. The blonde mumbled a sheepish "Sorry," and was rewarded with an exasperated smile.<p>

The hour was quickly approaching as they entered the room, Emma holding both glasses of champagne as Regina handed their son his cider over the back of the couch. He grabbed it absently at set it on the coffee table, eyes never leaving the screen.

"Moms!" Henry called out excitedly. "It's time!" He was mesmerized by the TV as he chanted along with the countdown.

"_Ten_."

Emma turned to face Regina.

"_Nine_."

Their eyes met.

"_Eight_."

A small smile spread across her lips.

"_Seven."_

Emma slightly tilted her head.

"_Six."_

She took a tiny step closer until their bodies were nearly touching.

"_Five."_

Regina's breath brushed across her chin.

"_Four_."

Emma licked her lips.

"_Three_."

Deep breath.

"_Two."_

Emma leaned in.

"_One_."

Regina turned and ran.


	3. Chapter 3

**Note:** I'm worried they might be slightly OOC in this chapter, but hopefully it's not enough to bother anyone. This chapter is a bit dense, but a lot of talking was needed for our ladies. I had planned to write a bit of New Years Day as well, but I'm pretty happy with this ending so I think I'll leave it here. Thanks for reading!

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
>January 1st, 2015<strong>

It was nearly two am when Regina snuck back into the house. She had hoped the wait would mean Emma and Henry were already in bed, but her heart plummeted as soon as she saw the woman sitting on the couch carefully watching her approach. The room was faintly lit by Christmas lights, throwing odd colours across every surface.

Regina took a few tentative steps closer, wishing she knew what to say.

"I sent Henry to bed," came Emma's hollowed voice. "He didn't want to, he said he was worried, but I told him you just went out for air. He made me promise I'd wait up, make sure you're okay. I'll just, go now." Emma stood and moved towards the door.

The blonde was halfway across the room before Regina found her voice. "You're running away?" she accused, hating the slight shake of her voice. She wanted anger, venom, the rage of a queen, not this fear and vulnerability.

Emma stopped and slowly turned back to face her. "I thought… you'd want to be alone," she replied uncertainly. "Figured you'd, not want to see me for a while."

"Emma Swan, you do not get to walk out of this house." Her voice was sharp, and she didn't have to try for anger now. She crossed her arms to resist the temptation of throwing a fireball. "We are a family, and you do not walk away from that. You do not walk away from _our son_."

Emma stood in stunned silence. She couldn't have said if she was more taken aback by the words or the vehemence behind then. Nearly a minute passed before she finally responded. "I'm not running away. Not from Henry, not ever again."

Regina raised an eyebrow and Emma sighed. She wanted this conversation over-hell, she wanted this night over, wanted to wake up in a new year that would let her forget the last two hours-but the older woman clearly wasn't satisfied.

"I had it in my head that we could be more. I thought… But I got it wrong, which is pretty much par for the course for the Savior that can't seem to save anything. I don't want to hurt you Regina. I wanted to make you happy, to be the happy ending you're looking for, but I get it. I'm just… a friend, and Henry's other mom, and I can be that, but not right away. I thought it would be easier for both of us if I just, stepped back for a while."

She couldn't look at Regina as she took a steadying breath and continued. "I'll still see Henry, as often as he wants, but I'm trying to do what's right here, trying to give you space, or time, or whatever it is you need, hoping that… you can forgive me for trying to kiss you again. I guess I should have known when you ran the first time, but I'm an idiot and, I thought there were signals but clearly I was wrong. I really am sorry, Regina," she added quietly, "for any lines that I crossed. I didn't mean to hurt you or betray your trust."

Emma turned to leave, but she'd only made it a few steps before she felt a hand on her arm. She hated herself for the tiny surge of hope that soared through her as she spun around.

"Emma…" Her tone was soft, her eyes gentle and searching. Emma gulped under her gaze. Regina's voice was small when she finally spoke again. "You want this?"

Emma nodded slowly, throat too tight for words.

Golden fingers reached toward her and stopped an inch short of her cheek before pulling back and falling down at Regina's side. Emma ached to reach out for her but forced herself to stay still. She had to stop pushing before she pushed Regina away for good and lost the tenuous family they had built together.

"I don't know how to love very well," Regina admitted softly. She looked down, afraid of what she might see in Emma's eyes as she continued. "It's hard to believe that someone could care for me. I was able to… accept the possibility with Robin because he was my soulmate, and because he never knew me at my worst; I allowed myself to hope.  
>Then when I lost him, I thought I could change the story, find someone who never saw me as the Evil Queen. But you have seen the worst of me. The things I did, to you and your parents, even to Henry… I don't understand how you could possibly forgive that."<p>

"Maybe I have seen the worst of you. God knows we've done a lot of shit to each other over the years," Emma couldn't help a small smirk at the memory of their early animosity, "and I've seen you do a lot of fucked up things to people I care about. But I've seen the best of you too.  
>Regina, I've seen you <em>fight<em>, I've seen you fight to change, fight for the same people you used to try to destroy. I've seen you protect my mother-I've seen you _have tea_ with her. You will never be innocent, but neither will I. Our future doesn't have to be defined by our past. You aren't the person you used to be, and maybe it's not my place, but I'm proud of who you've become."

Emma paused and Regina finally met her gaze. "You're worth being loved Regina, not just by someone who doesn't see the bad stuff, but by someone who sees all of you and thinks you're pretty damn wonderful, baggage and all."

It was hard to tell in the dim light, but Emma thought she saw dark eyes glisten with unshed tears.

"I believe… I may owe you an apology," Regina began cautiously after a moment. "I have not been as brave as I should have been."

Emma stared at her in confusion and she sighed softly before continuing. "Having you here this week, I've thought about our kiss more times than I would care to admit. I've wished for… similar moments, unprovoked by holiday traditions. I thought you couldn't possibly want the same, because in what world could the Savior care for the Evil Queen?"

Emma's heart ached at the derision in Regina's voice. She wanted to reassure her, but she stayed silent, knowing the other woman needed to finish what she had to say.

"As the days went on and you made no move, I convinced myself you had decided the kiss was a mistake, that it meant nothing after all. Then tonight…"

Regina fell quiet. Heart in her stomach, Emma filled in the rest. "Tonight, I tried to kiss you at midnight, and you thought it was nothing but a stupid tradition."

Regina hummed in agreement. "I shouldn't have run."

"You were scared." Emma observed with a shrug as if it didn't matter. As if she hadn't spent two hours terrified she'd fucked up everything. "I get it."

Hesitantly, Regina stepped closer. "No one has ever chosen me, not really. Not… the person I've become. Graham was my lover as part of the curse, because I sought some form of intimacy, and Robin loved me because of pixie dust. It was easy to convince myself that you only wanted me merely because… I was here."

"Regina," Emma whispered, shifting so close they were nearly touching now, "I choose you. If you'll let me… if you want me… I choose you."

Regina's fingers once again stretched towards Emma, and this time she allowed her palm to rest against her cheek. "I don't know how to love very well. But perhaps… you'll allow me to try?"

Emma nodded, a grin blooming across her face. Regina's lips were light against her own, the kiss brief and tentative, but when they pulled apart Regina's eyes were bright and hopeful.

"Happy New Year."


End file.
